I'm Learning to Breathe... View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (*aLiCiA'S* guestbook! (SIGN IT)). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Wednesday, April 14th, 2004

Subject: and so i fall, i dont wanna feel this small.... Time: 1:41 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: ...i just cant handle this, handle it at all.....

10 Of Your Favorite Bands/Musicians At This Moment - Swichfoot - Trapt - Taking Back Sunday - Dashboard Confessional - Gavin DeGraw - Duncan Sheik - Maroon 5 - Forty Foot Echo - The Bens - Supertones 09 Things You're Looking Forward To - Summer - Not being stupid haha - College - Going to visit camp - seeing Olivia again someday. oh god i need to see her. - Chilling with Cindy cuz she has been like disappearing lately! - 2 weeks from this weekend - Going to visit Gordon sometime - Finding out what I really act like 08 Things You Wear Daily (most of these are katy's too haha) - Bra - Shirt - Pants - shoes - socks - rings - earrings - makeup 07 Things That Annoy You (again im stealing some of katys) - disrespectful people - Writer's block - people not liking me - Ignorance - missing people - hypocrites - people changing for the worst 06 Things You Touch Every Day - my clicker (hehe) - switchfoot cd - my hair - a book - a pen - a notebook 05 Things You Do Every Day - act insane - Read - watch tv (oh god) - laugh - Go online 04 People You'd Want to Spend More Time With - cindy - mae and other camp people - sara - the clan 03 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over (wow i like odd movies) - fast and the furious - boiler room - what a girl wants 02 Bands You've Seen Live (there are many more, also) - Switchfoot - Beach Boys 01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With - as a friend id have to choose cindy considering we always can talk about anything and we like a lot of the same stuff. she's an awesome friend :) not feeling so great, mood-wise. blahhhhhhhhhh

Comments: 3 reasons I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

Subject: CREESE! Time: 9:14 pm.

look who my dad is! Who is in your celebrity family? by cerulean_dreams User Name Mom Meryl Streep Dad Christopher Walken Brother Carrot top Sister Hillary Duff Dog Lassie Boyfriend Hughe Grant Best friend Jackie Chan Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0! haha. eew...hugh grant? umm no..i like chris, thank you very much.

Comments: 1 reason I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

Subject: IT IS TRUE. Time: 9:54 pm. Mood: loved. Music: you're all i want, you're all i need....

I LOVE CHRIS GEORGE.

Comments: I Dare You To Move.

Subject: i could be your best bet.. Time: 3:43 pm. Mood: crazy. Music: im INSANE.

What attracts people to you? brought to you by Quizilla

Comments: I Dare You To Move.

Subject: schwa Time: 9:07 pm. Mood: creative.

yeah sometimes i wicked worry that i just bother chris (yes i realize hes probably going to read this)...lol...yeah he's a great guy and yeah so thats my story..im insane and just talk a lot and everything... i think i have this effect on guys that makes them not want to talk as much when im talking to them. lol. it makes me sad lol. i love it when chris talks :). but i talk too much. yeah so thats my story.. this weekend is going to be "clutch" (oh yes...good memories..) and chris' birthday is next wednesday. yay :-D wow i just realized this entire entry is about chris. all right well in an attempt not to scare him im going to stop now :-P youre the greatest*<3 IN OTHER NEWS I GOT MY PERMIT!!!!!! :-D *Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is you do to me? I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am like a kid out of school. Holding hands with a god. I'm a fool. Will you look at me, quivering, like a little girl, shivering. You can see right through me. Can you read my mind? Can you picture the things I am thinking of? Wondering why you are all the wonderful things you are? You can fly. You belong to the sky. You and I can belong to each other. If you need a friend, I'm the one to fly to. If you need to be loved, here I am. Read my mind.*

Comments: 1 reason I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

Subject: schwa! Time: 9:14 pm.

What do people really think about you? by Raven319 Name Age favorite song Parents think You're lazy Strangers think You're smart Friends think You're wonderful Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

Comments: I Dare You To Move.

Subject: gah Time: 4:40 pm. Mood: cranky.

i need to do something. cuz i feel all .... odd.... idk how to explain it. but it happened during x today too. i thought maybe it was because i was pissed cuz there was a friggin graphic organizer of the faith test, but i got over that. maybe its cuz i have homework to do. ....and i dont want to do it. or maybe its the fact that somethings pissing me off like crazy. and im not going to say anything about it. GAH!!!!! you should just go.........go....away! man, i cant say anything mean today. damn. ;alker ;jakf g;jawen g;adh g;nLKDFGN ALEJBGN.ADF,NALKDJ.BGA;KE.RJTGlwk. what is wrong with me?!?!??! i dont like this feeling. ::DiEs::: cindy where areeee youuuuuuuuuu

Comments: 1 reason I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

Subject: hmm Time: 4:08 pm. Mood: curious. Music: lalalala.

OMG MY DAD IS THE GREATEST HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET ME INTO THE MAROON 5 CONCERT AT STONEHILL! he told me about it this morning! im so psyched. my brother got into averi, but theyre not nearly as well known. so idk. they might have sold out...but thats okay! damn no more prom :( im sorry panda! CHRIS: SWITCHFOOT CONCERT APRIL 16TH IN WORCESTOR (or however its spelled). would you like to possibly go?!

Comments: 2 reasons I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

Subject: schwa Time: 5:35 pm. Mood: crushed.

in the past 4 hours my life has just....been...or just has become... gah! lets just say.. my parents expect too much of me. cell phone is gone for a month. sorry kiddos. im just such a disappointment :-\ :'(

Comments: I Dare You To Move.

Subject: i hate it. Time: 3:37 pm. Mood: cranky. Music: best friends mean friends forever.

*yay for rants* i.hate.it. everything going on lately. i dont care to explain. last.night=me.outta.place. but its okay. it was for cindys birthday :) and she deserved the fun. i hate hypocrites. i hate it when they dont realize theyre being hypocrites. i hate people who hurt my feelings by saying something bad i do, then say "its okay. i love you anyways". wtf?! why the hell would you say that. thanx a lot. i love what people say when they think im sleeping. "i used to be really shy. oh, yeah i used to be like alicia. what happened to alicia? did she die?" i dont like cell phones. i wish i could throw mine out. im so friggin tired. i just wanted to sleep last night, ive had so much on my mind. i feel asleep at like 1am, didnt realize it. i really didnt. cindy woke me up at like 2:30am to go downstairs. so sue me, i was tired. trying to fall asleep, literally just thinking "i wish i could to sleep just friggin let me go to sleep" listening to everyone talk. not wanting to join in, having things to say but not saying them. not knowing how people would respond, anyways. i like my feehan friends. they dont care what i say. waking up a little more relaxed. actually talking a little, wow they realize i have a voice. im sorry im being a bitch. im so tired. and i cant talk to anyone. no ones online. i dont want to call anyone, plus cindys at the barn. saras at work. no one else i can really talk to about things last night and all.

Comments: 2 reasons I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

Subject: here i am, once again..i pour out my heart... Time: 1:35 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: here i am, once again. i pour out my heart for i know....

so here i go again. i had so much to write last night after fire'n'ice, but not having to do with that anyways... i was so mad at some people, i couldnt stand it anymore. whats funny is, now i realize it was stupid to be mad at them at all. im not going to mention any names. they dont need to know who they were, because im not going to bring anything up with them. it kills me just to let myself pretend i dont care. but whatever. i woke up this morning thinking i wouldnt be mad at them anymore, but i still was. it was the weirdest thing. i couldnt get it out of my head, and that scared me. ive never been mad at anyone that long. so i went to the barn..it was an amazing day. it was like a cool summer day, just perfect. i was supposed to ride iris but them jared and i decided to go for a trail. kerstine came along too, but she couldnt keep up ;) :-P so it was basically just me and jared on the trail, me on abbott (the best trail horse...well besides charlie of course..) him on hoppy. we were galloping, and i mean galloping down the trail. i must admit that abbott won by a mile :-P hes so much faster than i thought he was. i got scared there for a second, he was like uncontrollable. but it was fun. we jumped the logs, man there are so many trees down. canter up the hill to realize there was a huge tree down half way up. abbott just walked over it, he woulda died if i made him jump it. today was a good day. i kinda just forgot about all i was worrying about. i just kinda...idk..let it go. "let go and let God" i guess... i must get back to getting ready and finishing cindy's present. ..im not going to apologize anymore. unless i need to. Basics His name: Chris George His height: erm...taller than me.. His eye colour: brown His hair colour: brown Residence: MA Date of birth: march 17th 1985 Place of birth: mansfield? Random questions What physical part of him do you like best?: everything. hes a cute kid. What part of him in general do you like best?: hmm... Describe him in max. 5 words: cute, funny, adorable, nice, patient How does he smell?: good What does he do for a living?: erm..go to college. Where did you meet him?: katys house What's his education?: in college Who are his best mates?: tom, shawn, katy..erm....school..friends..? How long have you known him already?: a month Does he know about your feelings towards him?: ermm ya How does he dress? (Punk, preppy, sk8r...): idk. its good though :) Which song describes him?: dont make me think when i have a headache Which song describes the way you feel about him?: edge of my seat--switchfoot Which song describes the situation you're in with him?: i cant think right now lol What is his favourite song?: :-\ What kind of music does he listen to?: ska, alternative,etc..good stuff:) Getting personal.... Have you ever kissed him?: yeah Have you had sex with him?: no Do you wish you had?: no Do you want to marry him?: im only 15 Do you want to have kids with him?: ^^ Final questions How does he feel about you?: erm. i think he likes me. Do you LOVE him?: not yet Unconditionally?: lalalal hes a good kid lalala Then go tell him! All About Your Crush (for girls) brought to you by BZOINK!

Comments: I Dare You To Move.

Subject: schwa! Time: 9:13 pm. Mood: creative. Music: #7 on a mark a mission a brand a scar (dashboard).

giving up procrastination for lent. science fair today. congrats to matt hall, colin rand, shanahan, andrew noll, dan romero, jess jones..all you kewl guys who got awards. good job :) damn that was the longest day of my life. my first judge was mr ryder ::dies:: he came over and i didnt know he was my judge and i was drinking my coke with lime, obviously, and he was angered. he probably gave me like a 60. good times. I DONT LIKE IT WHEN MY FRIENDS FIGHT. please stop. please :'( im not reading huck finn.! haha! haha to you, ms macpherson! oh, i wrote a kewl poem today. its kinda bad...but..right.. danse charlie adrenaline running high, i quietly ask to go faster. the muscle tense, contract and stretch. i lean against my horse's neck, smell her mane. wind tearing at my eyes, its only us. i can hear the rhythm of her hooves and her quick breathing. my hands reach for her mane, asking her to go faster. we fly down the trail barely hitting the ground. trees pass in a blur my heart soars higher than we are. my hair is suspended in air behind me, whipping in the wind playing tag with the clouds. ears forward, shes happy. we are one, i cant help but think if anyone saw us right then, they wouldnt be able to find where i end and my horse began. **************** songs about dancing in the nude. the waltz, the polka. how scary. oh god, they were like 87. gross. and why were they surprised their kids didnt want to see?!?!?!?!

Comments: 1 reason I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

Subject: annnnd heres a rememberance of scary band occurances... Time: 4:40 pm. Mood: busy. Music: dare you to move--switchfoot.

"Just saying HI" ::SHUDDER:: o god. everyone seems to be telling me many things lately. i am just overflowing with information. oh jeepers. blah! blah to you, teachers! blah to assignments! blah to dumb essays! just blah! hehe, today during mass, someones cell phone went off multiple times. mr servant was pissed. the ashes wont come off my forehead. im scared im going to have a stain there forever. shay, i hope you feel better. i heart you, dear. and everything works out for the best. i promise. you rock :) "i am the queen of retardation!" hehe! and you can never be a bitch dear. so never worry about that. my cell phone beeped during geometry. mclaughlin..oh god...i thought she was going to eat me. but all she said was "whoever's cell phone is going off--turn it off now!" and of course no one moved, because who really wants a detention? and when i turn my phone off its really loud and makes funny music. so i just like prayed that it wouldnt make any noise the rest of the period. thank god it didnt...until the bell rang. which was fine, cuz the bell masked the noise. TO-DO LIST: *history essay: 1 hour tops *history reviews: 30 minutes *study history: 1 hour (give or take) *study spanish: 1 hour *read huck finn and take notes: erm...2 hours? haha like thatll happen. *cindys birthday present(work on it): 1 hour *watch o.c.: 1 hour there arent enough hours in the day! OH GOD! i must be going. *maybe redemption has stories to tell. maybe forgiveness is right where you fell. where do you run to escape from yourself? where ya gunna go? where ya gunna go? salvation is here....* schwa.

Comments: I Dare You To Move.

Subject: SCHWA!!!!!! Time: 4:27 pm. Mood: calm. Music: i just wanna fly.....put your arms around me baby....

^^^^that song is stuck in my head^^^^ ive decided everyone is misinformed! and im the correct one!! hehe. just kidding. haha i just wrote kissing instead of kidding. then decided to delete it. i mean i didnt mean to write it in the first place. way to be! i just typed forst instead of first. then you would all think i was illiterate and cant spell forest. and then just stupid because i wouldnt be using forest correctly in a sentence. but alas, you misjudge my intelligence! but actually...forest would work in that sentence. "i didnt mean to write it in the forest place"..yes, that could be okay. back to sanity!! hehe. SHAY!! I HEART YOU TO DEATH!!!!! me: "oh yeah..be like 'mom, i got an A in every subject and failed reading....'" shay: "oh god. i would jump out that window." me (going insane): "it takes me a long time to read because..i have to wait for the words to speak to me. and sometimes...well sometimes...i cant hear them. and when i cant hear them, i dont know what they say. and that is why i failed reading." ((Shay dies of laughter)) ******************************** me: "sometimes my tongue gets in the way when i talk ::bites hair::" ******************************** me: "when i talk, my words dont come out right and i say things i dont mean" shay: "like..sometimes i mean to say the word "BOOK", and i say "PROSTITUTE" me: "haha i can hear you now: 'i need a prostitute...i mean a book'" ((Shay dies of laughter)) me (continuing): "..and sometimes...sometimes people say i am just expressing my inner desires. and sometimes im not quite sure..." ((shay is on the verge of tears)) later on: me: "i want a book." shay: "are you SURE you didnt mean prostitute?" me: "No! i mean....maybe.....damn it! yes!" haha shay i heart you. you made my day a lot better. bake sale today. good times. chris ianucci, steve conroy and missy curran came with me to my mom's office afterwards to eat all the extra food. we were talking about college and such..i guess chris ianucci is going to culinary institute of the americas or something...missy is going to some place in florida. then creese called...and i feel mucho better :-D hes a goot kid. HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments: 1 reason I was Meant To Live - I Dare You To Move.

I'm Learning to Breathe... View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (*aLiCiA'S* guestbook! (SIGN IT)). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.